


Devour the day

by ShariDeschain



Category: Haven - Fandom
Genre: Dysfunctional Relationships, F/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-28
Updated: 2014-11-28
Packaged: 2018-02-27 08:33:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2686199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShariDeschain/pseuds/ShariDeschain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's not a good man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Devour the day

He tried. He knows he tried.

For Audrey first (and even a little bit for Nathan, maybe), and then for Jennifer. 

He tried really hard, for Jennifer. She was supposed to be the one. She was supposed to change everything. Him, his life, his idea of love. She tried really hard, too.

Thing is, it didn't matter. Not then, not now.

Because Jennifer's dead and Audrey and Nathan are something else. (Some people are just _right_ )

He's not like them. (But he tried. God, he tried.)

Thing is, he's tired of trying.

He's not a good man.

And now, for the first time, there's someone in his life saying that it's okay too.

*

The lightning whitens the room like a flash, and since there are no other lights on, the world around them suddenly moves in photographs.

It's dark, and there are closed eyes kisses, soft hands on his chest and wet lips sucking on his nipples. It's nice and sweet, and he's sure she's smiling at him even if he can't see her.

Another lightening, and her eyes are open, black and dull like doll's eyes. Her nails leave trails of blood on his skin and she bites him instead of kissing him, laughing at his moans.

Dark again, and he's on his boat with Jennifer on top of him. The stormy ocean's lulling them, and she feels so little against him that he's scared of hurting her.

A white flash, and Mara's body arches under his fingers, her face twisted with pleasure.

Dark, and he's in Colorado with Audrey, but this time they didn't stop at that one kiss.

White, and Mara's thighs are locked around his head, and he's tasting her with the tip of his tongue, slowly and gently, because he knows she hates that.

Dark, and he comes mumbling sweet nonsense, something about love and mistakes he won't regret.

White, and he comes with a grunt, his face hidden in shame against Mara's neck.

*

Afterward, she falls asleep in his arms. 

He doesn't know if it's still part of her plan to convince him that she cares about him, or if she simply doesn't care.

It kinda works anyway.

Because he's tired and angry and alone, yes, but mostly because she's beautiful, and there's little to do about that.

There is something terrible in her beauty, of course, something dark and alien that leaves an aftertaste of blood and dirt in your mouth. But it's not hidden. It's part of it. It's part of her beauty. And he knows that someone could fall in love with it, too.

The question is: _is he that someone?_

She's the source of everything, the forge of his entire life as he knows it. She's the wicked witch that cursed his family and his home, and she's not even sorry about it. His brother, his friends, the woman he loved, they're all dead because of her. She created a world where you have to fear your parents, your children, your neighbors; a world where if you want to be the hero you have to die or to kill someone else; a world that could collapse on itself over the cry of a newborn.

So where's his hate? Where's his disgust? Why is he holding her instead?

The answer is: _because he's not a good man._

*

She makes horrible pancakes. It must be some kind of divine retribution for all her wrongdoing.

The way she wrinkles her nose at him is pretty cute, though.

“Wine? Seriously?”, she asks. “It's barely eight in the morning.”

He shrugs and keeps drinking. The wine's red and mellow and slightly nauseating, but he already feels sickened, so that's not really an issue.

It's weird, this whole morning-after thing, sitting together at the same table, eating the breakfast she cooked for him. It feels like a joke. Like they'd woken up in a twisted parallel universe, or something like that.

“Are you trying to get drunk on me?”, she asks again, without looking at him, too busy drowning her pancakes in syrup.

He shrugs again.

“Coping mechanism”, he mutters after a moment.

She smiles (she's beautiful when she smiles, and she knows it) and Duke notices that there's flour in her hair.

Without thinking, he leans towards her to clean it, but Mara raises and tilts her head in one smooth movement, and he ends up kissing her, instead.

Somehow, even if the pancakes are garbage, her mouth tastes wonderfully, and Duke wonders if there's some hidden warning in that or if he's just too drunk already.

**Author's Note:**

> \- Written for the WRPG challenge @ maridichallenge


End file.
